A Friend in Iraq

A good friend of mine is working in Iraq. I've actually never met her before, just talked on the phone and exchanged endless emails. We used to work together at Unisys (in different cities) and went our separate ways during one of Unisys' famous annual layoffs, each taking different career paths. She accepted a position for a company doing work in Iraq a year ago. Since that time I've thought about her on occasion, wondering if she was okay. Anytime I would hear of a car bombing and civilian deaths, my heart would skip a beat.

I spoke to her on Google Talk the other day and it was the first time I've heard from her in about a year. She resigned her contract and is remaining in her current role for another year. Obviously, she likes what she's doing and is very happy. I wish her all the best and hope she remains safe.

Life, Lack of Work, and Whatnot! lol

So, as I feared, the worst has happened. I got laid off on Friday. Guaranty Bank decided to do some serious downsizing and about half of the IT staff got das boot, as in shipped out, put out to sea...blah blah blah...I know this was going somewhere.

Anyway, I have now joined the millions of unemployed workers in the good ole US of A! I never can seem to last more than two years at a company without something major happening, either a spin off, major reorg, or layoff. I guess it's the nature of the business when working in IT. I thought I was in my own little bubble being in Austin, considering we seem to have avoided the housing nightmare that has affected the rest of the country, and the city is very tech heavy with some major players. But, working for a bank there was no guarantee (pardon the pun) that my job would be spared.

It's Complicated

Or so she says. That was her response to the question.

I asked her if she loved me. Well she finally explained herself to me, FINALLY! Teenagers! (sigh) She said she loves me as a friend, but not as a parent. Apparently, she used to love me as a parent, but she decided she didn't like the way I handled things when I found out she slept with her boyfriend.

Personally, I think I reacted the way any sensible father would react when he finds out that his 15 year old daughter had sex. And with the very condoms I gave her!! THAT WASN'T PERMISSION!! I gave those to her as a "just in case" scenario happened to ever present itself. You know how kids can get...they start making out and one thing leads to another. BUT NO, she makes plans and lies to us about where she's going to be, just so she can do "the deed".

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, the love issue. So now I have to "build" things again, let things grow. She said she doesn't need a father right now. Well, she doesn't know what she needs. (What teenage girl really does?) She may think she doesn't need me, or feel that way right now. She sure doesn't seem to mind that I care for her, and accepts my affection and material support without question.

My girlfriend says to give it time, but when Amanda has already conveyed those feelings once, it's hard to just go back and to ignore them. After all, having a daughter has always been a dream of mine. And when she told me last Christmas that she loved me (out of the blue even!), it was genuinely a dream come true. My heart melted. This 15 year old girl opened her heart to me and shared something very special, now she tells me that she lied and never meant it, and that she was only talking about it ever as a friend. Yeah right... Who knows what she really means.

If she meant to hurt me, she succeeded.

This is turning out to be a great holiday season (!)

Published on Fiction Press

I have posted a couple of my poems out on Fiction Press. Just wanted to share.

Life, Work, and Whatnot!

The current state of economy has me on edge. I read about layoffs, especially in the financial industry. There have been layoffs at my own company, and I've managed to survive.

I WORK FOR A BANK!! Eek! I should be thankful that I still have a job though and am healthy. I guess things could be worse.

Tattletale

That's such an interesting word. I keep saying it to myself, over and over again. I was looking for the etymology of the word, but I couldn't find anything. Anyway, apparently this is what Amanda thinks of me now. She feels she doesn't have to follow the same rules around me that she has to follow around her mother. It's a matter of respect, really. I brought this up in coversation with her mother. Of course it got back to Amanda that she wasn't doing what she should be doing and got grounded.

The mind of this teenage girl interpreted that as my being a narc, whistle-blower, etc. When all I wanted was to be treated with the same respect as her mother. This is why it came up in the first place!

Ugh. I have a headache. I would accomplish more by banging my head against a brick wall. I think teenagers are the worst age group, ever!